• Kimbra Swain

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!

I hope all of you are celebrating and having a wonderful time with family and friends.

I've started writing Book 3 for the Fairy Tales of a Trailer Park Queen. Below I'm including an excerpt of the first chapter. I enjoy writing this series so much. The characters really hit close to home for me, and I hope all of you enjoy them as well. Here's a little Christmas gift from me to you.

WARNING: FToaTPQ has adult themes/language

including vulgar and risque jokes. (That you will laugh your head off at, but you can't say you haven't been warned!)


Tears rolled down my cheeks. “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. It’s big, sparkly and makes my heart thump,” I whimpered.

Levi looked at me incredulously. “Grace, it’s a trailer.”

“It’s a triple wide with a garden tub, so now you can keep your bare chesticled self out of my bathroom!” I replied.

“I’m all for that,” Dylan interjected. He stood behind me with his arm around my waist as the workers from the mobile home delivery service anchored my shiny, new triple wide in the spot where my last trailer burned down on Christmas Eve. Damn Trolls.

Winnie was in Levi’s arms covering her ears as the big truck backed up with a squawking alarm. “I don’t know why you are worried about a trailer when you have Dylan’s house,” Levi said.

“Because, it’s Dylan’s house. Not my house!” I protested. I felt Dylan’s chest bump my back a couple of times as he suppressed a laugh. I’d lived with Dylan for three weeks since my trailer burned down and even though we really had no issues other than trying to figure out how to please a six-year-old little girl, I couldn’t wait for the new trailer to be delivered. There were times I actually missed fighting with him, even when it was fake, it was fun. However, not fighting had been heavenly.

“What are you going to do when you get married? Dylan, you moving into the trailer?” Levi scoffed.

“I go where she goes,” he said.

“Bullshit!” Levi declared.

We both laughed at him. Frankly, we hadn’t discussed it in depth. As far as we were concerned, here or there, as long as we were together it didn’t matter. But I had to have a trailer that wasn’t up for discussion.

“Ooo Wee! She’s a beaut,” Tater said behind me.

“I’ve never seen anything so wonderful in all my life,” Cletus said.

“See,” I poked Levi.

“Yes, let’s go on the opinion of Beavis and Butthead,” Levi said.

Tater and Cletus began to mimic the cartoon idiot’s laugh perfectly. Dylan put his head on my shoulder as he laughed. “What put a stick in your craw, Levi?”

“Kady,” he said.

“I told you pegging wouldn’t be fun,” I said.

“Grace! I swear to God, you are the most vulgar woman on the face of this earth,” Levi exclaimed covering Winnie’s ears which were already covered by her own tiny hands. She gazed up at him and smiled not knowing what we were talking about. “There was no pegging.”

“Alright, ma’am. It’s down. You can go in,” the foreman said.

I clapped and giggled like a girl getting her first dolly. Dylan released me as I ran to the trailer.

“Can’t you control her?” Levi asked Dylan.

“Why would I want to?” Dylan returned.

“I heard that Levi Rearden,” I said as I stepped into the trailer.'s a little teaser for a later chapter:

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE! Book 3 will be out in January!

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